by Melissa Cargill
About 30 years ago, before our wedding, my husband and I were gifted a beautiful ceramic pie plate and a recipe book titled “Pies and Tarts”. I remember thinking, “What a lovely gift! If only I were the kind of person who baked pies!” I enjoyed pie, but I certainly had never baked one from scratch, and I hadn’t really witnessed that either. My mom is a wonderful cook, but she didn’t love baking, so when we needed a pie, we called a bakery or grabbed one from the frozen section at the grocery store.
After we married, I learned that my mother-in-law makes homemade pies AND my husband loves pie! (The gift was starting to make more sense to me at that point.) As we visited his family during the early years of our marriage, I had opportunity to sit in the kitchen and watch, as my mother-in-law worked her magic with flour, butter and water, and I also had the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of her labor!
As the years went on, she invited me into the process in small ways. She talked about what she was doing, shared some of her tips, and occasionally delegated parts of the process (usually things I couldn’t mess up). As I watched her, I started to think, “Maybe I could make homemade pies, too?” Eventually, I attempted this in my own kitchen and found myself with a clump of dough impossibly stuck to the counter. After a quick phone call to my mother-in-law, I realized where I had gone wrong and made note of additional tips and tricks that would help next time (make sure the water and butter are cold, don’t forget to flour the countertop, don’t overwork the dough, etc.)
I’m happy to report that I am now the kind of person who bakes pies…but it was a process! First, someone invited me into the kitchen, then she gave me a taste of the pie. She said, “This is definitely something you could learn to do,” and she allowed me to step into the art of baking in ways that felt achievable. She helped me to see myself differently, coached me along the way, and gave me a taste of the joy that comes from this extra effort. Certainly, this is not the easiest way to attain a pie, but there is a certain joy and satisfaction that comes along with the process.
When I meet with ministry leaders, I often hear, “We just don’t have enough people to serve all of the children and families who have needs.” So, how do we encourage and equip those in our congregations and communities to step into this type of ministry? And how can we walk alongside them when they do?
I would suggest that equipping people for foster care ministry is not much different than baking pie. There are likely people sitting in church on a Sunday morning who assume they are not the type of people who are qualified or equipped for foster care ministry. We can start by helping them to see themselves differently. We won’t all be called to foster, but as followers of Jesus, we are ALL called to care for the vulnerable. Jesus went out of His way to love and care for the children, the marginalized and those who were often overlooked. It was His very nature, and we are called to love others the way He has loved us!
Next, we need to find ways to “invite others into the kitchen.” How can we bring those who have no experience with foster care or the world of child welfare one step closer? Maybe they could write notes of encouragement to social workers who are often overwhelmed and underappreciated? Or maybe they could bring a meal to a neighbor family who is currently fostering? These experiences increase understanding and empathy by allowing volunteers to experience both the beauty and the brokenness that defines foster care.
As those in our churches take next steps, they will likely have questions and things they will need to process along the way. (Like the time when my pie crust was stuck to the counter.) Who will be there to coach and guide, and how will we walk alongside them intentionally as they figure those things out?
To paraphrase an idea from Jason Johnson, “This is really less about recruiting people to meet a need, and more about discipling people to obey a command.”
How can we help them to process their experience with foster care through the lens of the gospel and the hope we have in Jesus. This type of ministry isn’t easy, but there is a profound joy that comes from following Jesus into this Kingdom work. Psalms 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” As we follow Jesus’ example, and step into the broken and hard things around us, we also have the privilege of knowing Him and experiencing His love for us in new and deeper ways!
Now that I’ve been eating homemade pie for a while, there’s probably no going back, and I think it’s much the same in this world of foster care ministry. Yes, it’s hard, and yes, there is hurt; but there is also a beauty and a joy that’s hard to explain unless you’ve had opportunity to be a part.
Pie, people, and a taste of the kingdom…it could be the simple art of discipleship, the model Jesus Himself used, is all we really need as we call others into this ministry.
If this vision of inviting and discipling others resonates with you, the 2026 All In Foster Care Summit is where you can learn how to put it into practice in your church and community. You can register or learn more about the May 6, 2026, Summit by clicking HERE or on the Summit logo below.
